I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
