Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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