if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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