So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She bit a glass in half.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
