I want to walk on stilts...naked
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
