Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
