I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
