my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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