We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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