i think my tv is drunk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
