Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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