oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
