Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
