Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize