Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
