VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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