i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize