so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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