We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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