So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
