i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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