My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think people are normalizing furries
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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