I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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