Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize