Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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