Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize