soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Randomize
