There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
