I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She said her name was "party"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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