hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
