smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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