every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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