I've blown a few things in my day
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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