his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am available for nakedness
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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