It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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