why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
