If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
