Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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