I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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