He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
