she was so not down for the gang bang
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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