You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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