She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
how drunk are you?
Several
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
