i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
