Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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