I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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