Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
