i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
