I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
