Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
