He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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