I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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