walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
