i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
