I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
