Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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