We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
