Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
