Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
