if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
