I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
